


Coffee for the Spider?

by rapliners



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, No Romance, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapliners/pseuds/rapliners
Summary: Because why would Peter be allowed to enjoy his lunch, right?





	Coffee for the Spider?

Peter sat atop some fairly precarious looking scaffolding that overlooked the entirety of Central Park. He enjoyed it here, mainly because seeing all the unknowing citizens was almost like his own slice of life sitcom, people really are hilarious.  
His bright red Spider-Man disguise was pulled up to expose his mouth, maintaining an air of mystery, whilst also being practical. He ungracefully piled a slice of Aunt May's classic cherry pie into his mouth, holding the rest of his hoagie out to the side of him.  
_'Aunt May's pie really is the best..'_ Peter whispered to himself,  
"Hold that thought, Spider-Kid." yelled an unfortunately familiar voice, before a beautifully aimed Katana flew through his sandwich, pinning it to the trunk of the tree just in front of him,  
"Wade." Peter turned his head to the Merc, who was standing on the scaffolding platform just behind him.  
"Sir Spider, I bought you this." Wade climbed from his platform to Peter's, before sitting himself down, holding out a cardboard cup to him, "You like your coffee like you like your men, right? Strong."  
Peter turned his head, narrowing his eyes, "My men?"  
"You heard me, Spidey. I know you better than you know yourself." Wade pulled his mask up, revealing his scarred face, and winked over dramatically to the younger boy,  
"Wade, you don't even know my name."

♡

Peter sipped gently at the coffee, swinging his legs toward Wade, "Did you need something, D-pool?"  
"Oh, nothing, just your dulcet tones and beautiful physique, sir." Wade retorted, reaching out and squeezing Peter's thigh, jokingly,  
"You charm me, but I have work to do." Peter had turned a deep shade of pink, that he hoped wasn't noticeable to Wade in the small part of his face that was visible,  
"I can quite see that you're charmed, kiddo." Wade jibed, poking a finger into the bundled up mask at the apple of Peter's cheek,  
Peter turned his head, the pink shade presumably worsening, "Bye Wade."  
With that, Peter unleashed a string of web, flinging himself across the skyline into the distance.  
"Maybe we'll get co-" Wade sighed gently, "Real coffee, sometime."

♡

Around five hours had passed since the Katana coffee incident, and Peter found himself in a particularly large scale scuffle with a gang of men who quite loudly worked for the Kingpin himself, Wilson Fisk.  
"How's Willie these days? Found himself a hobby yet?" Peter shouted over the gunshots and punches, ducking and weaving his way around the men, slinging webs into their faces and landing either his foot or fist into various parts of their bodies,  
Peter turned around, and suddenly his whole life began to move in slow motion, one of the thugs had gone unnoticed, and was holding a pistol to his forehead, his finger on the trigger firmly, "What was that, Spider-douche?"  
"I.. uh.." Peter was stunned, how had he missed this? He was **Spider-Man** for Christ Sake, how did his senses fail him _this_ spectacularly.  
The thugs finger tightened on the trigger, and Peter's breath became quicker and almost panicked, "I can't believe.."  
His sentence was cut short, the finger slipping off the trigger as his almost bulbous head was thrown forward, pushing the shaft of the gun hard into Peter's forehead,  
"Need some help there, S-man?" Came that once again all too familiar voice,  
A flash of red and black flipped it's way across the tops of taxi's and cars alike, "D-pool reporting for duty." Wade saluted crudely, pulling his swords from his back, and almost ritualistically thrusting them down in X-formation into the back of the unconscious thug, "Goodnight, Mr Wolf."  
Peter was still speechless, and not entirely processing what had just happened, or how he had let Deadpool, of all people, save him from such a simply avoidable situation, "Y-yeah.."  
"Hey, you look like you need a coffee.." Wade winked through his suit, not entirely registering that Peter absolutely couldn't see it, "Maybe I'll finally get that name."

♡


End file.
